Monday, February 26, 2007

Since Meg asked...

The only revelation I got from cleaning the bathroom was that they really, really mean it when they say not to use mildew remover unless your space is well-ventilated. Chemical burns inside the nose hurt. Happily, my nose was back to normal in about 24 hrs. so that I could smell the vanilla body shop perfume that got all over the bedroom carpet when one of the cats knocked it off my dresser and the bottle broke. Gah. Vanilla's nice and all, but not that much of it all at once. It smells like a cookie exploded.

I spent some time yesterday throwing out old perfume/nail polish/make-up. I can see the top of my dresser again, and there is nothing breakable on it anymore.

It's a good thing I love my kitties.

Monday, February 19, 2007

Revelations of a Clean Kitchen

I have just spent about an hour and 19 of the songs on my "Happy" playlist cleaning my kitchen. I had some revelations. Here they are in no particular order.

1. I am a crappy housekeeper. Ok, so that's not really a revelation, more of a confirmation of facts. I'm a surface cleaner. I don't like to pick things up, or even move them forwards to swipe behind them. Fueled by a crappy day at work (see previous post) and some awesome music, I decided to actually move stuff.

2. A lot of crumbs can build up under your toaster.

3. It is possible to do aerobics while you clean your kitchen, as long as you don't mind that it will take a little longer when you have to stop to shake your rump, do a little kung fu fighting, or do a little bit of grapevining.

4. I used to be a dancer; I used to have grace and poise and rhythm. As I've aged, I've somehow turned into Hugh Grant in that scene in "Love Actually", but with more T and A.

5. Dancing is still fun, even if I do look like a giant dork when I do it.

6. It's ok that Fred is on a straight night shift. He's been home on disability for the past month, so my 'me' time has been lessened. Tonight is his first night back at work, and I had a blast by myself. I still don't want to spend forever trying to have a relationship between midnight Friday night and eleven PM Sunday night, but I'll be ok with it for a little while longer.

7. Even the cats will look at you like you've gone batshit crazy when you start jumping around your kitchen and singing into a scrub brush.

8. Grape kool-aid stains white tile floors.

9. Even if I don't want to, I will eventually have to lock the kitten in the basement.

10. I will always forget that I have just washed the floor and walk across it while it is still wet.

Wednesday is bathroom cleaning night. I'm actually looking forward to my discoveries!

She made me go in the basement! Just because I chewed through the garbage bag. It's not fair!

Note to Management Types

1. I am not an idiot. Don't talk to me like I am.

2. If you want me to do something for you, ask nicely. I am actually a person, you know, and not your bitch.

3. If you don't tell me something, I don't know about it. I am not a mind-reader.

Keep it up people, and I will shove my pointy-toed boot up your collective asses, and you can watch me shake my rump as I do the "Fire me, fire me, fire me!" dance.


Thursday, February 15, 2007

Best Valentine's Day Gift Ever

I got home from work last night expecting to have to shovel our front walk and change the kitty litter.

Earlier in the day I'd asked Fred to do something nice for me. My something nice for him was bringing home a Mocha from Tim Horton's (we usually just drink their coffee, not the fancy stuff).

His something nice for me was shoveling and changing the litter.


Thursday, February 01, 2007

What's that knitting rule again?

I am knitting Fred a scarf.

I've been knitting for over a year now, and have managed to learn how to knit lace, and knit socks (which at one time seemed to me to be the pinnacle of difficulty; the idea of fair-isle was overwhelming), but this $%&*# scarf is driving me batty.

First, I was using icky acrylic camouflage yarn, because he digs the camo. He picked a five-cable braid that just wasn't showing up properly in the patterned yarn.

So we switched to a dark purple merino (yay!) and started over. It was curling in on itself, and he says he likes a scarf that lays flat, so I ripped it out and changed the design.

This time I got about 8 inches of the sucker done and ... dropped a stitch. I thought that I had picked it up properly, but after a couple more rows it was obvious that I had not, because the proper crosses just weren't there. I put in a life-line and frogged it back and picked up the correct number of stitches....and realized that I hated the way it looked. Seed stitch on either side, reverse stockinette, and the cable in the middle. Muh. It would have looked great if it were going to be part of an afghan or something else, but on it's own, it was just kind of meh.

Ribbit, ribbit, ribbit. Although I did get to play with my ball winder, so that was fun (Zoe liked it too).

As I was casting on this scarf for the fourth time he says "You know what I'd like? A sweater. A cashmere sweater. Black. With red celtic cable panels up the arms, and a red celtic design on the front."