Wednesday, June 23, 2004

Loving me, loving you...

In a relationship, the one who loves the least holds the power. Sometimes it's easy to know which one you are, and often the balance shifts over time.

Right now I think I'm the one loving more. I'm constrained by the boy's familial situation, and so is he, I understand that. I just feel that I'm putting out more than I'm getting back. Living an hour and a half away from each other is difficult for both of us, but I feel like it's harder on me these days. I'm living alone, and while I'm very busy, I'm going home every night to an empty apartment. He's living with his parents, not an ideal situation, but at least he's not knocking around an empty living space. Oh, I have the cats, but really, they're not people, as much as they think they are.

I'm willing to take a Greyhound three hours round trip to see him for 8. He's not willing to do the same for an entire 72 hour weekend. It's not like it would cost him money either; I've already bought and given him the bus tickets. Frustrating. Granted, in that 72 hours, I'd be at rehearsal for 12 hours. And I know that he doesn't mean that *I'm* not worth it when he says that it wouldn't be worth his time, but it hurts all the same.

So right now, he has the power. I am at his mercy. It sucks. Yeah.

Wednesday, June 16, 2004

Things I'd like to blog/WD post about if I had the time...

-Cantertrot Court
-That e-mail from Annika

C'mon, home computer! Blearg.