This past weekend I over-scheduled myself, which is a pretty common thing for me. I get so excited about having time to do things that I try to cram 48 hours of things into 24 hours.
On Sunday, I missed a chance to go to a Lammas ritual with a local pagan group I've worshipped with a couple of times. I went to a Pirate Festival with my friends instead, which was pretty awesome, and I got an amazing leather Steampunk-themed waist cincher. But that is beside the point, because I have been missing a spiritual community.
I used to have a really strong spiritual community. My friends were also the people I worshipped with, and it filled so many of my needs. Unfortunately, just over a year ago, my circle disbanded because I was the only one still feeling a need for ritual. So I have practiced alone, or with one friend, or with this other group of people that I am still getting to know.
As much as I enjoyed my Pirate Sunday, I missed going to ritual.
Apparently, my subconscious agreed with my conscious, because this morning I participated in a dream ritual. I remember the tail end of it: the fact that there were a lot of people there, some friends, some strangers. I remember singing, although I sadly cannot remember the actual song. I remember dancing and drums. And then my alarm went off, and the dog needed help, and the feeling faded a little, but I could still hear singing on the edge of my hearing, like someone's radio was on in the next townhouse over. I crawled back into bed for a bit, and breathed, and reached out for the dream. And in that few moments, I heard a voice. It was partly mine (or at least the way I sound in my head) and partly another woman's voice. She/I said "You aren't alone, even when you feel like you are. You will get what you need, even if it's not what you think you want. You will be supported, and loved."
It's been a bright spot in a dark time, and I'm thankful for that moment.