Friday, January 27, 2006

Why do we do that?

Women, I mean. We devalue ourselves. I have a whole whack of awesome, intelligent, beautiful, amazing women that I count among my friends. Each one of them is unique and wonderful. And yet, we all downplay our good qualities. At the solstice gathering for my circle we each talked about how we had grown and what we had learned in the past year. Each of us has done some fantastic things and we were all able to say "Yay me!" about something. Then each of us said "But..." Yes, it is a good thing to continue to grow and change; to recognize that we're never really "done" and that we all have challenges to face and things that we would like to improve about ourselves, and I recognize this.

I just wonder why it is that we can't ever just say "Yay!" without adding the "But...".


Helen said...

Because we need balance in our lives? Just as we recognise the good, we need to see the negative too. And plus, if e only ever said the good stuff we achieved, we'd give people a false impression of us? That we never make a mistake, or something?

But I know what you mean- what we should do is acknowledge the negative but focus most on the good.


Jenn said...

I picked out the best location ever for my wedding.

I am so cute it hurts.

I have made huge steps towards the career I want.

I think I rock.

No but from me here.


Jenn said...

I agree with you very much my dear. And this is something I've actually worked on for the past bit. I figure the negative makes itself known just fine on its own without my help.


Big PoZer said...

First of all... YAY for the update!!

I missed reading your entries.

It's interesting - I saw an interview on CNN yesterday with Norah Vincent. She wrote a book called Self-Made Man, in which she describes her experience of going "undercover" as a man for a year and a half.

One of the things that really struck me was when she talked about how men don't apologize, about a myriad of things, the way women do. She said it was so liberating to just be... and not be sorry for it.

As for my own point of view... I'm not sure why there's always a "but". Perhaps because, as women in this day and age... we have to wear so many hats (career woman, sex goddess, mother etc.), we never feel like we can live up to everything that we've come to expect of ourselves.