Monday, February 06, 2006

Breakthrough!

Conversation at my house just before I had to dash off to Ioga Friday night:

Her: I'm really glad that you're excited about the singing.
Me: Yeah, I need this kind of stuff to keep me going.
Her: I mean I'm really glad that you're excited about it.
Me: *quizzical look* Okay...
Her: *wells up* We're going to be able to fix us, right?


You could have knocked me over with a feather. I'm just so happy that she has acknowledged that there is a problem with our friendship. I told her that I miss her and I miss us and that I am perfectly willing to work on fixing us. I did say that it may still be difficult with us spending so much of our lives together, and she agreed.

On Sunday I got her a little something while grocery shopping, and it made her very happy. She came and hugged me and we had an actual conversation.

I know that this will never be exactly the friendship it used to be. I can't completely trust her for one thing. For another thing, I've changed. I'm not the same person I was for most of our friendship. I don't think she is either. So we'll see. I'm just pleased that I am no longer alone in knowing that there is something wrong.

5 comments:

Helen said...

Great stuff! Hopefully the friendship can get back on the right track- even if not to the point it was it before, due to you both changing, then something close.

Maybe she was too embarrassed to say anything before.

Annika said...

I think her acknowledgment of the problem is a bigger step than anything else, and may be more important than mending things. I mean, sometimes it is too late or just not worth it for whatever reason, but it is so good when everyone can recognize what happened.

Leslie said...

I agree with Annika ... I hope we are in for more of the same.

And, I am really happy for you too, cause I know that this has been plagueing you for a while.

*squish*

L.

Big PoZer said...

I would give just about anything to not have to be the one who always acknowledges there's a problem. So, that's great that your friend (who I'm guessing roommate, as well?) opened that door.

But, yes... not being able to fully trust someone is, to me, the biggest obstacle in any relationship.

Podgy said...

Yes Meghan, this is the roommate/co-worker/friend that I've been having problems with for about six months now.

One of the reasons I was so surprised by her acknowledgement is that just before Christmas I told her that I thought our friendship had been damaged and got the response "No it hasn't". At that point I kind of stopped trying, which I think is was may have twigged for her. Who knows?

The tension has been lifted though, at least for now, and I don't spend my days wondering when the next time I'll get hurt is going to be.