note from roo

i decided that today i will tell you all about what we do in the morning at our house1

sometimes i have to stand at the bottom of the stairs and cry because it has been forever since fred went to bed and no one has come to see me, but most mornings i am still sleepin when angela comes downstairs i am always happy to see her, and i do a little dance to tell her that she lets me go out the back door and then i get a cookie, but i don't always want to eat it right away because i know there are going to be better things than cookies in the kitchen soon

i always help while angela puts on her coffee and gets out her cereal, and i watch her eat verrrrry carefully to make sure that she doesnt forget to let me lick the bowl when she is done she and fred call this prewash i dont know what that means, but thats ok with me, cause i just like to lick dishes

after breakfast comes the really good part of the morning when angela makes her lunch for the day i help her get stuff out of the fridge then i stand on her feet under the counter just incase anything falls on the floor angela calls me hooverdog then and i dont know what that means either, but she says im good at keeping that part of the floor clean, at least so this is why this time is best, angela makes herself something that she puts lettuce on and she lets me have the crunchy bits thats good, but its not my favourite my very favourite is carrots111 if angela makes her lunch and doesn't give me a carrot i go woowooowooo to let her know that i am very unhappy

today was extra extra special, because there was one piece of cheese left over and angela said i was being soo good so she let me have it111111

after all that angela gets ready to go away sometimes i try to go with her, or not let her go, but she says she has to go , or she wont be able to pay for more carrots


anyway, i hope you are all having a good day
bye111

roo

You may call me "Mistress"

Two of my very dear friends will be marrying each other in about a year and a half. Last night at tea (yay, Tuesday) I was very honoured to be asked to be their Mistress of Ceremonies.

They're actually going to give me a microphone! Wooooohoooo!

(Just kidding, guys, you know I'll behave myself.)

So excited! *grin*

Little Things

Things I do:

• bring my coffee to work in my own cup
• bring my lunch packed in reusable tupperware, or re-used baggies
• pack my dishwasher as full as possible before running it
• use cloth or reusable bags for grocery shopping
• separate cardboard out for recycling
• hold off as long as I can get away with it before turning on air conditioning/furnace
• use biodegradable bags to pick up after the dog
• use some household and personal cleaners that are friendlier than others
• use some energy efficient light bulbs
• use as much recycled household paper products as possible
• eat locally grown or organic food
• I quit smoking last December, reducing the chemicals I'm putting into my body, into the air, and the butts that were being thrown away

Things I plan to start doing:

• keep replacing old lightbulbs with the energy efficent kind as they wear out
• keep replacing household/personal cleaners with friendlier options, and look into natural alternatives where possible (like vinegar as a glass cleaner)
• put up a note saying that I don't want junk mail/newspaper/flyers delivered to my mailbox
• start separating recycling beyong cardboard, and take it to the dump myself (our townhouse complex only has two dumpsters available; one for cardboard, one for everything else)
• find out if I can set up a composter in my back yard
• figure out a way to collect rainwater
• cut down on pre-packaged food, make an even bigger effort to eat local
• request a new fridge/stove/dishwasher from the landlords when we renew our lease so that we can get more energy efficient models
• take an extra bag with me to pick up garbage when I walk the dog

I'm sure there are more things that I could do, and likely a couple of things I'm already doing that I can't think of right now, but this is a pretty good starting point, I think.

I used to have a t-shirt that said "We don't inherit the Earth from our Ancestors, we borrow it from our children." That was a good shirt.

Bye bye FB!

I've just gone and deactivated my Facebook account. I had a virus propagate from my account last weekend and it upset me enough that it soured the whole experience for me. I contacted one person that I want to keep in touch with and don't have any other way to contact, then deactivated the thing. I've been neglecting The Watcher's Diary lately anyway.

Tuesdays are my therapy

Usually on Tuesday evenings I get together with girlfriends and we have tea, and chat and sometimes do crafts, and sometimes do other stuff. There is always laughter, and sometimes there's some crying and hugging, and sometimes we have cake.

I firmly believe that it is my Tuesday nights that have gotten me through some of the crappiest parts of the last few years, and I'm just not the same when I miss out on them. That said, I won't be going tomorrow night.

Tomorrow I will be leaving work at lunchtime to drive into Toronto. I will be visiting with friends from my old job, then I will be attending the Yarn Harlot's latest book launch at night. There will be space for 500 knitters. I'm betting the space will be full to overflowing.

Next Tuesday I will get to tell my friends all about it, and although not one of them is a knitter, they will listen to my story and be happy for me that I am happy.

I love Tuesday.

Comedy Update

I heard from the ex-husband today.

His stand-up gig went wonderfully last night. The audience loved him, the host gave him extra time, the performer after him said that he was a hard act to follow, and a professional comedian that we once saw perform together was there, and complimented him on his set.

I'm so proud of him, and totally not surprised.

Since I got the update from him, I think that if he gets a chance to do this again, I may just go and see. :-)

Sometimes...

...you think you're done with something; that you've healed, that you've moved on. Then you hear a song, and you hear it, really, really hear it for the first time, even though you've sung it a bajillion times, and it sends you into a tailspin (apologies to Sarah McLachlan for only quoting some of the lyrics here; these are the ones that hit me hardest).

Through the years I've grown to love you
Though your commitment to most would offend
But I stuck by you holding on with my foolish pride
Waiting for you to give in...
You never really tried or so it seems
I've had more than myself to blame
I've had enough of trying everything
And this time it is the end...

In the terms of endearment
In the terms of the life that you love
In the terms of the years that pass you by
In the terms of the reasons why

There's no more coming back this way
The path is overgrown and strewn with thorns
They've torn the life-blood from your naked eyes
Cast aside to be forlorn...

Funny, how it seems that all I've tried to do
Seemed to make no difference to you at all...

Apologies have been made, as well as a tentative peace, and I was puzzled by the whole thing coming when it did, and wondered about the reasons, but I took it (as I always have) at face value, despite all past evidence that I am a naive fool, and then got on with things because while it was unexpected, it was no longer a huge thing in my daily life.

Now, this hit me out of nowhere, and made me marvel at the layers of the psyche. I've had a good cry, and a cup of tea, and I'm feeling level again, which is good. It's just a scar that I didn't expect to be laid open at 9 pm on a random Thursday.

Why my mother is awesome

I sent her this email:

"hello angela's mum, this is roo.

angela says that when people do things for you that make you happy, you should say thank you, so I wanted to say thank you to you and frank for sending the long red rope home with angela.

on monday when she came home from work, instead of letting me out in the back yard to bark at the kids like normal, she got out the long red rope. at first i thought we were going to play a pulling game and i tried to take the end and run around the kitchen with it, but angela got me calmed down and we went out the front door. we walked through the parking lot and down to the street and i was sooooo good even though i was very excited and i pulled a little, but since the long red rope is so strong angela was able to help me understand that pulling isn't a good choice, especially when there are small people around who get scared easily. we got to a light and had to wait, and i even sat down for angela, which is something neither of us could figure out how to do with that other silly little string thing. finally, we got to a field!

i got angela to take some pictures of me in the field after she was done falling over in the snow (i helped her get up, i am a good dog!) so you can see how happy i am now that i can go to the field.we walked back home, and i barked at another dog but didn't try to chase it even though it was trying to chase me and angela said that i was a good dog.when we got inside, i stood still for angela while she cleaned me off. playing in fields can be dirty! then i got a cookie, and defended my cookie from the cats, and ran around the kitchen and living room a lot and barked and jumped up and down. angela said that after a 45 minute walk like that i should have been tired but i was not, nope nope nope, so we played tug the rope with the proper rope toy and then i got a carrot while angela made her dinner. later on i did get a little sleepy, so i had nap on the couch. it was a good day, and angela says she is going to take me to the park tonight, where the snow might not be so deep and she might not fall over in it plus there is a garbage can there so she doesn't have to carry the poop bag in her pocket. yay!"

This is what my mom sent back:

"Hello Roo: Frank and I enjoyed your email and were so happy to see the pictures of you in the snow. We are glad to know that you are a good dog and look after Angela when she can't stand up. Sometimes it is harder for people because they only have 2 legs.

Love Angela's Mom"

It makes me so happy that get gets me. :-)

Oh, and here are the pictures from our Monday walk.

Yarn Barf

Last night I attempted to wind some yarn into cakes from skeins in order to start knitting Fred some socks. I don't own a swift, and I didn't have an extra pair of arms around, so I thought I'd rig something up using a chair and a vacuum cleaner.




It didn't work quite the way I'd hoped.

Plus, I had "help".

I got frustrated, and gave myself a headache, so I went to bed.

Tonight is my fourth last shift at Giant Bookstore, so it's going to have to wait until Friday for me to tackle it. Unless Zoe can fix it while I'm at work...

Lunch love

Today for lunch I have:
- tomato soup
- carrots
- yoghurt (raspberry-cranberry)
- a piece of Babybel light cheese
- a royal gala apple
- a red pepper and chipotle wrap that has light mayo, light marble cheese, Branston Pickle, romaine lettuce and low fat smoked ham in it

Yum! I am so happy it's lunch time.

To be a fly on the wall...

Facebook is a wonderful tool. I have been able to connect with people I thought gone from my life forever. I have been able to keep in touch with friends who are far away.

Today, I found out that my ex-husband is going to do stand-up comedy! He's got a night booked at Yuk Yuk's in Hamilton at the end of March. This is one of those things where I wish very, very badly that I could go and see, but it just wouldn't be the right thing to do in the end.

I left him, I gave him up, and rightly so. We were never really good friends, and should never have married in the first place. All of that means that I don't get to go swanning back in and get involved whenever I like - it's just not fair.

The thing is though, my favourite part of him, indeed what attracted me to him in the first place, was his sense of humour. A bunch of us would go out for drinks, and he would hold court telling his funny stories. In the 6 years we were together, I heard his standards so often that I could have told them myself...but I didn't, because no one could tell the stories better than he did.

I'd love to be a fly on the wall, because I'd love to be able to laugh at his stories again. I am so very proud of him (which may seem strange, given that we haven't spoken since 2004 and the last email he sent me was over a year ago now), and I hope that this goes well for him.

Now who wants to go be a spy for me? ;-)

Messy.

That's me: messy.

The past few months have been weird for me emotionally. I go from crying at my desk, at home, on the phone, heartbreaking unhappiness to being very happy and having a lot of fun, making jokes and being in a genuinely good mood, and back to being an emotional black hole again. The change can take place over a number of days or in a matter of hours.

I think a lot of it is winter, and snow. I'm just sooooo tired of the white. I'm craving green, and flowers and some blue sky. Some of it is working two jobs and my inability to say no to volunteer things (I don't mean the Heart and Stroke stuff, I mean the local production I wasn't going to be in and am now singing two songs and sewing three costumes for), and my general burning of my candle not just at both ends but straight up the middle as well. Some of it is my frustration with having even less time with my husband than I used to (working and rehearing on weekends is eating into the only time we have to spend together). There's money stress, still.

There are other things going on too. I am achy all the time; joints, muscles, back/head. I'm experiencing insomnia again like I was a while back, but I'm out of the sleep aids my former doctor prescribed. I'm comfort eating like crazy.

I stood in my friend's kitchen last night and cried because she's got a little shelf up with a few life-affirming kind of things on it; exactly the kind of thing I'd like to make for myself, but I just can't get motivated to put away my laundry, never mind pull together something like that.

I know I need to see a doctor, that there's something here beyond me just being tired, but there aren't any available in my city right now, and no-one at a walk-in clinic is going to help me.

I don't like myself when I'm like this, but when I don't like myself I don't think I deserve to be good to myself and do things that are good for me, and would in turn help me be the me I like. It's like a reverse catch-22. And it's messy.

Edited to add: Can you tell today isn't one of the good ones?

Giving back

One of the myriad reasons I wanted to get a job closer to home was so that I could make some time to do volunteer work, and become more involved in my community. Back in November when I was labouring under the delusion that I would be finished with job #2 in mid-January, I signed up to canvass for the Heart and Stroke Foundation in February, which is Heart Month here.

February arrived, and I still had the extra job, and then I got a sinus infection, and there was a lot of snow, and I am a master procrastinator.

Finally, last night, I went out to ask my neighbours for donations. I expected to be turned away, or told off. I didn't expect to gather $50 in donations from 15 houses, in less than an hour. Today I'll be adding my own donation, as well as one from a co-worker.

Next February, no matter what else is going on, I plan to make this a priority. The H&S Foundation is an excellent cause and it's important to me to help them out, but it also helps me out, because I feel good about giving back.

I'm not a big fan of reality television for a number of reasons. For one thing, I don't feel there is a whole lot of reality there. Even voting shows like the Idol franchises (which I admit to being a guilty pleasure) are stacked by websites that attempt to convince people to vote for the worst contestants in order to skew the results. Mostly, I don't like reality shows because I don't like watching people be mean to each other. I even had to give up on the Amazing Race because of the negativity of one family a couple of seasons back.

Starting on Sunday, Oprah Winfrey ('cause she doesn't already have enough going, my goodness!) will be hosting her own reality show: Oprah's Big Give. The premise of this show is that she will give the contestants some money and they have to turn it into more money, and then give it all away. The person who gives away the most money over the course of the show is the winner. I'm pretty sure that they're all winners, really, 'cause giving back does that to you. I'll be watching the show, and hoping that competitiveness doesn't overshadow the goodness.

And the wisdom to know the difference

I was privileged this weekend to support one of my friends on his first birthday. Saturday night we attended his AA meeting where he celebrated one year of sobriety. It's been a rough year for him, but he has succeeded, and we are so very, very proud of him!

It was much like meetings are portraying in the movies: a church basement, with plenty of coffee on hand and folks introducing themselves by saying "Hi, I'm _____ and I'm an alcoholic". Most people know the part of the Serenity Prayer that figures larely in the AA recovery program, but there was another part of the meeting that really spoke to me. It goes along with the "one day at a time" philosophy, but takes it a little further. The basic message is that you can't do anything about yesterday because it's already past, and tomorrow isn't here yet, so there's no point in worrying about that either. Today is the day that is important; today is where you can make a difference to yourself, to people around you, to the world at large. It's a good way of looking at things, and I'm going to try to add it to the stuff I'm working on.

In other news, I got a prescription for antibiotics on Friday, and my face is feeling better. Things are draining, which brings on a whole new level of ick, but I don't feel full of lava anymore, and I can think again which is nice.

My face hurts!

I think I may have a sinus something going on. The front of my head hurts on the inside and I feel all puffy. And my ears keep popping. Wah!

I got myself a neti pot a while ago, but have been too lazy to use it regularly. When I get home from second job after 11 at night and still have to herd animals before I can fall into bed to get up at 6:15 (although at least it's not 5:15 anymore!), pouring salt water through my head isn't high on my list of things to do.

I have a hard time doing things that I know are good for me. I don't eat as well as I should because I don't want to make the time to make the food. I don't get as much excercise as I should because the few evenings I have to myself, I'd really rather just knit and drink tea. I can't figure out if it's laziness, or if it's that I don't think I'm important enough, or if I'm just too bleeding tired.

There have been inroads. Quietly, with no fanfare or quit meters, I quit smoking on Nov. 25. I can tell that this time it's for good. There is a different quality to it this time, and also the smell of cigarette smoke is making me gag these days.

A friend introduced me to Yoga Booty Ballet, and I love it! A minumum of once a week I am getting a half hour of cardio excercise. I go over to her house right after work (after stopping to let out the dog and feed the cats at home) and she feeds me dinner then we jump around in her living room. I also bought the dvds for myself and jump around in my own living room on days when I don't have to go to second job after first job. I've also been keeping an eye on portion sizes when I eat and have lost a few pounds in the past couple of weeks.

But I'd still rather sit on my couch and knit, and drink tea.

It's that time of year!

Happy Lupercalia!


moar funny pictures

FOs

Heh. It looks like I'm swearing up there, but I'm not. That's knitterly short form for Finished Objects.



Like this Wonder Woman set:

And this square for the Pratchgan:

The WW set was made as part of a gift for a team member at work who is moving to another team. If I make another one of these (and I'm pretty certain I'm going to have to) the crown needs to be a bit bigger and the wrist thingies need to be smaller.

The Pratchgan square is called "The Ankh" and is being mailed off to Fife to be attached to a bunch of other squares. When it's all done it will be sent off to Terry Pratchett. This is a project from the Ank-Morpork Knitter's Guild on Ravelry. When the news broke that Terry was diagnosed with early on-set Alzheimers, we wanted to do something for him to send our support. What to knitters do? They do this.

I have other things on the go, but can't seem to get them done, so for now they remain UFOs.

Dammit.

Heath Ledger is dead. I've been sitting at my computer for about an hour puttering and crying. which is dumb, because it's not like he was a friend, or someone I'd ever met. But I liked his acting. And he was very pretty and one of the few actors I've ever had a major crush on. I'm looking forward to the Batman movie this summer where he plays the Joker, but it's going to feel different now...

It seems that he overdosed on prescription pills. Some sites are saying he had a substance abuse problem. Whatever. I'm sad for his family, and for his friends, and for his fans.

Too young. Dammit. RIP.

I can't think of a good title so this is what it is

I am not a gardener-type. I have been known to kill cactus.

This morning I repotted the plants that sit on my desk.

Vera came from the grocery store. She was in a tiny little pot and marked down to 99 cents so I had to bring her home with me. She has flourished since then!

Rex is a Begonia Rex. When he is happy, he has beautiful purple and green leaves. He was very, very happy on my last desk, but all the moving around and a few weeks with too much sun and not enough water has made all his leaves fall off. He is still alive though, and I'm hoping that the new pot and soil will help him perk up.

Violet was a gift to me from a friend at my last job. While we were there she bloomed almost continuously. Since October she hasn't even shown a bud. Again, I'm hoping that a new pot and fresh soil will bring back her fatness.

I have set up that little corner with some of my angels. This is a good job and environment for me, but I'm still trying to find my really comfortable spot. I hope that fixing my plants up will bring some comfort to my space.

Want!

I like the concept of the sock club. You sign up and pay your money, and every few weeks you get yarn and a pattern in the mail. There are many clubs out there, all with their own merits.

But.

This is the one I want with the burning passion of a thousand fiery suns:

The Flock Sock Club

Why? Because she (The Tsarina of Tsocks) designs stuff like this:

Cookie's Garden

They are works of art.

Ah, well. Maybe by 2009.

And since I can't end the post on a whine:

She wants a cookie!

Yum!

I am having organic goat yoghurt with organic rasperry jam in it. It's so much better than regular fruity yooghurt!

Whee!

Yeah, that's about all I've got. Anything else I have to say would be all complain-y, so I'm just going to stop there.

Yum!

Excellent Perqs!

So the new company I work for isn't giving us a Christmas party this year.

Instead, they booked the Air Canada Centre in Toronto for a private concert.

The Tragically Hip

And Van Halen!

They were both fantastic! Traffic getting into Toronto was super stupid so we missed about half of the Hip, but we still got to hear Bobcaygeon and 100th Meridian, and I found out from people who got there before us that they didn't play either of my favourite songs before we got there, so I don't really feel like I missed anything.

At intermission we discovered that we'd been sitting in the wrong section! That's why the photo of the Hip is at a different angle than the other ones. As it turned out our actual seats were even better than the ones we accidentally stole. I couldn't figure out how to get the BlackBerry camera to zoom in more, so it looks like we were farther away than we were. The seats we had would have cost over $200 each at a regular concert!

For a group that's been playing since 1972, Van Halen is still just so fantastic! I actually think they may be better musically now that they're living less of the "rock star" kind of live. David Lee Roth and Eddie Van Halen are in phenomenal shape (one was in leather pants, the other shirtless - my friend Leslie was thrilled!), and David can still get those high-kicking split jumps going! Eddie's 16 year old son is touring with them playing the bass. From his stage presence he seems shy, but wow! what a talent that kid has! And I can only imagine how amazing it must be for him and his dad to be touring together, and sharing this passion.

This is Leslie being thrilled. *grin*

The drummer (Alex Van Halen, Eddie's elder brother) did a 15 minute drum solo that I thought was going to be the highlight of the night. Then David told a story and sang while playing an acoustic guitar, and I thought that was going to be the highlight. THEN, Eddie did a 20 minute lead guitar solo that, well, as Leslie said "I didn't know it was possible to make that many different sounds with one instrument!" It was awesome, in the proper sense of the word. They saved "Jump" for the encore, and pretty much everyone in the stadium (14000 people) were on their feet for it.

It was definitely better than any Christmas party could ever be!

I made this!

This is what I did with my night last night instead of painting my sewing room or cleaning the house. It's a gift for a friend's birthday.




I think I need to get one of those jewelery store busts for showing off this kind of stuff.

Tiny Green Eyes

People are turning up pregnant all over the place! I know three people who are due in June, and it's all very exciting, and I have a giant list of things I want to knit. I am so happy for these friends (although very sorry that they are dealing with being sick) and I can't wait to see/meet the new people they are creating.

That said, when I found out last night that ex-best friend is trying to get pregnant, I got a little jealous. It was only a flash, only for a moment, but there it was. It probably had more to do with the "who" than the "what", and I recognize that.

We want to have a child (maybe more if we can manage the first one ok and don't misplace it or something), but we know that we need to get a better handle on things like money and cleaning the house regularly before we embark on the whole adding-a-person-to-the-household thing. Plus, with the five animals in the house, I'm not sure where we'd put a baby right now; it's already a little crowded. So we're being responsible, and grown-up, and trying to make the right decisions.

But, dammit! I want babies too!

Wellington Fibres

Here are the photos from the trip to Wellington Fibres.

These are the breeding herd goats.

This is a boy goat, who is waiting to be sold to another farm.



This is fleece that has been dyed, and it waiting to be washed.

This is washed fleece, hung up to dry.

Picked fleece (that's the step after drying; it takes out all the extra bits of stuff) going into a carder.

And coming out the back end of the carder.



These are the roving cakes that are make by the carder, waiting to be fed into the spinning machine.


This is the spinning machine.

This is a skein of spun yarn.

And this is the store!

I don't have photos yet of the lovely yarn...Mom spoiled me with enough for a sweater, and I got two colours of merino/mohair blend that will make Fred and I each a pair of socks.

The cake was wonderful - both to eat and to look at. Fred did a fantastic job! But I forgot to take a photo, sorry.

A weekend in the country

Ok, so, really only a morning in the country, but I couldn't pass up the chance to hum a little Sondheim.

Anyway!

Tomorrow morning I am accompanying my mother, some of her guild members and some of the London Handweavers and Spinners guild to a goat farm! Wellington Fibres is about a 30 minute drive from home. They raise angora sheep, which produce mohair. Mmmm...mohair. I'm taking a camera with me. And some cash. But the debit card stays at home.

While I am out playing with goats, Fred will be at home baking this cake. We're going to a pot-luck Hallowe'en dinner party tomorrow night, and he decided while flipping through my Martha Stewart catalogue, that this would be our contribution, and that he would be making it.

I should be home from the goat farm by about two, just in case.

Day by Day

We did not have to make a trip to the vet today! Roo is doing much better: she's eating and drinking and not vomiting! She's kept everything down for 36 hours, now we're waiting to see when/if she'll have a bowel movement. Let me tell you, I never thought I would look forward to picking up dog poop.

Her balance is still off, and she falls over when she shakes her head or tries to chase a cat - but at least she's back to wanting to chase cats.

Thanks everyone for your good thoughts and wishes.

It doesn't look good

This is Roo. Up until last Thursday she was pretty darn healthy for a senior puppy. Sadly, although the head tilt is going away, she's still vomiting. On the vet's advice we've tried switching her hard food for soft, tried not giving her the anti-biotics, tried giving her Gatorade. She'll eat or drink a little and then at some point later on it all comes back up again. We were hopeful yesterday - she went for almost 24 hours without bringing anything back up again, but today... let's just say we're going through paper towels at an accelerated rate. The vet says that if the vestibular disorder diagnosis was the correct one, we would have seen a marked improvement within 3 days so it is likely something else. We'll wait to see how she is on Friday, but if there is no improvement, we will probably have to say good bye to Roo this Saturday.

The good, the not-so-good, and the downright crappy - updated!

It's been a crazy couple of weeks.

The good: the new job is exciting and only a half-hour drive from home, compared to the roughly two hours each was I was travelling. I miss my friends from the last job, but that's about it. As a going away gift, the company gave me a round-the-world tea package. Once a month for the next 6 months, I will get two fancy teas in the mail. Usually people who quit there get a "Don't let the door hit you on the way out" kind of good-bye, so the gift was quite a pleasant surprise. I got spoiled for my birthday this year too, with knitting books and yarn and more tea and an evening with Fred (he works the afternoon shift, so we don't see each other during the week usually), and I went to meet some internet knitters and eat gelato last night.

The not-so-good: Last Sunday we brought Fred's 14 year old husky/shepherd cross home to live with us. We expected that the cats would be unhappy with the change, but the level of unhappiness was far worse than we expected. Like, Zoe climbing the blinds in the kitchen then making Fred bleed really badly when he tried to get her down, then her racing across the top of the kitchen counter trailing urine (the cat's) and blood (Fred's) after her. The cats have pretty much lived in our bedroom since Sunday night, although they will go out into the hallway for food and to use the litter. We had to put a baby gate at the bottom of the stairs so that the cats live on one floor of the house, and Roo lives on the other.

The downright crappy: When I got home from knitting in public last night, Roo was sick. At first I thought it was just because she had gotten ahold of and chewed up a bunch of kleenex. So I cleaned up the carpet, gave her a drink and took her out to pee. Then she threw up again. All the water she'd just drunk. This went on all night, with her only being able to keep water down for about 5 minutes, and not wanting to eat anything. She didn't even want any peanut butter. Fred is on his way to the vet with her. We're both thinking kidney failure, and Fred said that while the vet didn't want to diagnose over the phone, he felt from her tone of voice that she agrees with us. So after a traumatic 5 days with the cats, it's about to get a whole lot more traumatic.

Edited to add: Apparently we get the slightly broken animals. Roo has the same thing that Zoe does - vestibular disorder. This is something that manifests in young cats and old dogs. I'm very happy that Roo's illness is not the worst-case scenario, but boy, it would be nice to have an animal at some point that isn't dizzy or limping or running away from dust.

Forever and a day...is how long it's taken me to get this posted.

Before the ceremony

Exchanging vows



Official kiss


Ring photo

Us with my girls

Fred getting in trouble (so it's all back to normal pretty quickly!)

In other very, very exciting news, I will be starting a new job October 1 that is only a 30 minute drive from home! Woo!

eta: Thanks to Allison, Jess and Callie for photo help!

It's like s*x, but better!

Ok, maybe not quite that good.

Still, loving Buffy and Dr. Who this just gave me a big fangirl squee, and considerably lightened up my Thursday afternoon.

Women Deliver

How badly do I want to go to this?

Women Deliver

So, so badly.

Sadly, People In Ties Inc. doesn't have a GL code for "feminist interest, and helping the women of the world".

They do have one for golf though. Hm. I wonder if I could make that work.

Circlet!

The last piece of jewelery is made!

Circlet front

Side

Back

Other side

Tonight I'll start sewing the dress together.

Two weeks! Woohoo!

I'm in Ravelry!

If you're not a knitter, or a friend/family member of a knitter, feel free to scroll down at look at my pretty wedding dress fabric.

*looks around*


*hyperventilates*


I got my invite to Ravelry!

I was all set to go quit my job so that I could stay home and knit/play on the knitting internet full time, then I realized that if I do that, there will never be any cash-ola to buy stuff to knit with, and they'd cut off my internet access.

Poop.

Whee!!!

The underskirt is mostly done.

Next, I move on the the overdress.


The necklace and earrings are made.



And I have my shoes.


I still need to make a thingy for my head (circlet won, but I'm still figuring out how to make one).

I am still waiting to hear back from the minister.

That's about it! Nineteen days. Woo!

Checklist

Done

~ Marriage License obtained
~ space for ceremony/Minister of Ceremonies booked
~ my ring (inherited from my paternal grandmother, via my mother - yes, I know that's an odd way of doing things)
~ Fred's outfit (he's wearing a suit and whatever shirt/tie he feels like putting on that day)
~ restaurant reservation (although I'll be confirming it again a little closer to the date. The girl (and yes, I mean girl, not woman) seemed a little distracted and giggly when I called, and thought I said five, not twenty-five)
~ asked friend to take photos
~ guest list finalized (of course, with only 25 people invited, that was pretty quick)
~ asked my mom and Fred's oldest friend (who just happens to be here from Texas at the time!) to be our witnesses

Still to do

~ get Fred's ring
~ get fabric for my dress, figure out what I'm putting on my head (I can't decide between a beaded snood, or a beaded circlet), make dress/jewelery/head thing
~ make and send invites that need mailing, hand out the rest, make map to go in invitations
~ talk to Minister of Ceremonies about the ceremony to find out how it all works, and if we can have music
~ if we can have music, find some (we have ideas, but nothing concrete)
~ figure out what I'm missing and do that

Less than 30 days people! Woo!

Official Announcement

The date: Friday August 3rd

The time: 1:00 pm

The place: Evergreen Seniors Centre, Guelph

The thing: We're gettin' hitched!

The dress. The one on the left, with the underskirt. Which won't have the fabric bought for it until less than a month before the wedding. Yipes!

Woohoo!

There are wonderful people in this world.

Today someone did something wonderful for me. Ok, technically she did it a while ago, but I'm only just finding out about it today.

I got home from work to find a bright turquiose squishy envelope in with my mail. I looked at the return address and thought "who do I know who lives there?" Then I opened it and found this:



This is Socks That Rock sock yarn from Blue Moon Fiber Arts. It is hand-painted. It is something I have wanted to try since I discovered sock knitting, but have only admired from afar until now, since we keep having to do things like spend rent money on sick kitties.

A woman named Johanna I know a little from the ren fest I used to work at, who is the sister to a close friend of mine and who once helped me try to find a job got me yarn. She got me wonderful, happy-making, beautiful, hand-painted sock yarn in a colourway called Puck's Mischief.

All I can say to her is thank you.

Zoe is much better and says thank you too, for making my day so much brighter.

Well, now. That's not shocking at all.

You're The Mists of Avalon!

by Marion Zimmer Bradley

You're obsessed with Camelot in all its forms, from Arthurian legend
to the Kennedy administration. Your favorite movie from childhood was "The Sword in
the Stone". But more than tales of wizardry and Cuban missiles, you've focused on
women. You know that they truly hold all the power. You always wished you could meet
Jackie Kennedy.


Take the Book Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid.

I re-read this book about once every two years. It's a favourite, and got me interested in the Arthurian legends in the first place.

Update. Without photos.

I've been wanting to update. I've been wanting to post photos. I just can't seem to be awake in my house long enough to find the camera, take the photos and sit down at the damn computer.

So, photoless, I update.

Zoe is doing much better. So much better in fact that a pie plate (with pie still on it!) was knocked off the top of the refrigerator. I also come home every day to the taped-up cupboard where the garbage lives wide open. Sometimes with garbage on the floor. And the daily struggle for dominance between Sabre and Zoe is back up to normal levels. We've got another week of anti-biotics, and two more doses of Prednisone, and another follow-up visit to the vet on Tuesday. There was one recurrence of Zoe having a dizzy spell, after (while chasing Sabre) she bonked her head on the bottom of the coffee table, but it passed quickly and didn't keep them from moving on to I Am The Boss, No I Am The Boss, Round 478. Dorky cats.

I finished (and wore) my first pair of non-vanilla socks. For those unfamiliar with the term, that means they are the first socks I've done with a pattern on the leg and top of the foot. They're Roza's Socks by Grumperina from the latest Interweave Knits. I'm now on incarnation 4 of a pair I am designing myself, using Debbie Bliss Cashmerino in some light orange colour. I am also using up the ends of my first four pairs of socks by knitting in stripes. It's fun! They're gonna be a butt-ugly combo of blue/brown, red with multi-coloured flecks, purple/blue, and olive-drab green.

A couple of weeks ago I said good bye to Shadoe, my husky dog. We got him as a puppy when I was in Grade 12. That means that he was somewhere in the neighbourhood of 17 years old, a fantastic age for a dog. When I went off to University he stayed with my parents. When I finished University, I moved to Toronto to live in a succession of apartments, which is no way for a big dog who loves to run to live. So he stayed with my Mom, and moved with her to the farm when she and her partner bought one. He was very, very happy there, and I think that (along with the fact that my mom and step-dad take very good care of their animals) is why he lived to a venerable age. They had him put to sleep because even though his he had arthritis and was deaf, and probably mostly senile, and they kept hoping he'd just go in his sleep, his heart was very strong. So we finally all said good bye to him. It was hard, but he was getting to the point where his pain wasn't manageable anymore, so it was time, maybe past-time. I'm very happy that my mom and step-dad took such good care of him, I think much better than I would have been able to. So thank you to them, and thank you to Shadoe for being such a lovely boy.

Yesterday I spent the day at The Church of the Holy Trinity with about 100 other witches doing meditation/trancework/storytelling with Starhawk! It was a wonderful, if tiring day. There were epiphanies had, and laughter with my friends, then a spiral dance and a good dinner. It was really nice to see that there is a community of people out there who think/believe in a similar way to me.

This weekend is going to be busy. Grocery shopping then ritual tonight, band rehearsal, then a going away party tomorrow, then on Sunday I will attempt to cram two week's* worth of laundry, weeding of my garden, other assorted housework and a visit from Mom into one day.

So there probably still won't be any photos. :)


*Somebody please tell me whether the apostrophe here is wrong. Please!

Send more tuna! aka My Cat is on Prednisone

Zoe has something called a vestibular disorder. Basically, her head is tilted to the left side, and she's walking funny.

On Sunday she tried to jump up onto the kitchen counter but missed (missing is fairly normal, we don't have the most gracefull of cats in this household). I think on the way down she bashed her head. When she landed she started to do this thing that looked like she was trying to swim across the linoleum. We kept an eye on this behaviour, and talked to a friend who works in the vetrinary industry, and kept keeping an eye on things. Around midnight Zoe started yowling and looking for somewhere to hide, so we called the emerg vet clinic, packed up the cat and booted it to Cambridge.

The original diagnosis was bilateral vestibular disorder, which means the peripherhal vision in both eyes was affected. It's a neurological condition that can be brought on by anything from polyps in the ear canal to trauma to a stroke. Zoe spent the night at the emerg vet, then we picked her up at 7:30 am and tried to get a bit of sleep before going to our regular vet in the afternoon. The emerg vet had suggested trying to get Zoe in to see a neurologist, but by the time we got to see our own vet, the condition had improved enough that it's only affecting the left side of Zoe's head now and our vet felt that a $4000 MRI probably wouldn't tell us anything really pertinent. Whew!

So now I have added duties to the cat herding roster. In addition to needing to give Sabre a bit of aspirin every other day so that we don't have a repeat of the leg incident from last summer, Zoe gets two antibiotic pills a day, and one Prednisone pill a day.

Send tuna (for Zoe), send Bailey's (for me).

Early Morning

Riding the escalator up into the glass atrium after getting my morning coffee
I can see the first beginnings of the sunrise,
A backdrop for the brightly lit crane, already moving,
Building the next tall thing to bring more shade to the city.

At my desk there is a beauty in the silence;
No people, just the sound of the air intake system
And the hum of the flourescent lights
(Most of which haven't been turned on yet).

6:45 am is too damn early to be at the office.

Vacation booked!

I have just booked myself a week off at the beginning of April. I have no plans, nowhere to go, nothing pressing that needs doing. There will probably be some crafting since I'm working towards setting up my own etsy shop and will need some stock for that. I may even paint my kitchen and start getting my sewing room set up. But mostly I'm going to stay in bed late, cuddle my kitties and spend a little time with Fred.

I can't wait!

I've also booked a day of mid-April because Starhawk is doing a workshop in Toronto! Woohoo! [dances]

I've been feeling incredibly run-down, beaten down, and just generally at the end of my rope, mostly due to work and commuting. I'm hoping that a week away from it, and a bit of a spiritual jump start will help a little. There is a plan to get out of cube hell, but it's going to take some time, so I'm taking a break in the interim. Yay!

Since Meg asked...

The only revelation I got from cleaning the bathroom was that they really, really mean it when they say not to use mildew remover unless your space is well-ventilated. Chemical burns inside the nose hurt. Happily, my nose was back to normal in about 24 hrs. so that I could smell the vanilla body shop perfume that got all over the bedroom carpet when one of the cats knocked it off my dresser and the bottle broke. Gah. Vanilla's nice and all, but not that much of it all at once. It smells like a cookie exploded.

I spent some time yesterday throwing out old perfume/nail polish/make-up. I can see the top of my dresser again, and there is nothing breakable on it anymore.

It's a good thing I love my kitties.

Revelations of a Clean Kitchen

I have just spent about an hour and 19 of the songs on my "Happy" playlist cleaning my kitchen. I had some revelations. Here they are in no particular order.

1. I am a crappy housekeeper. Ok, so that's not really a revelation, more of a confirmation of facts. I'm a surface cleaner. I don't like to pick things up, or even move them forwards to swipe behind them. Fueled by a crappy day at work (see previous post) and some awesome music, I decided to actually move stuff.

2. A lot of crumbs can build up under your toaster.

3. It is possible to do aerobics while you clean your kitchen, as long as you don't mind that it will take a little longer when you have to stop to shake your rump, do a little kung fu fighting, or do a little bit of grapevining.

4. I used to be a dancer; I used to have grace and poise and rhythm. As I've aged, I've somehow turned into Hugh Grant in that scene in "Love Actually", but with more T and A.

5. Dancing is still fun, even if I do look like a giant dork when I do it.

6. It's ok that Fred is on a straight night shift. He's been home on disability for the past month, so my 'me' time has been lessened. Tonight is his first night back at work, and I had a blast by myself. I still don't want to spend forever trying to have a relationship between midnight Friday night and eleven PM Sunday night, but I'll be ok with it for a little while longer.

7. Even the cats will look at you like you've gone batshit crazy when you start jumping around your kitchen and singing into a scrub brush.

8. Grape kool-aid stains white tile floors.

9. Even if I don't want to, I will eventually have to lock the kitten in the basement.

10. I will always forget that I have just washed the floor and walk across it while it is still wet.

Wednesday is bathroom cleaning night. I'm actually looking forward to my discoveries!

She made me go in the basement! Just because I chewed through the garbage bag. It's not fair!

Note to Management Types

1. I am not an idiot. Don't talk to me like I am.

2. If you want me to do something for you, ask nicely. I am actually a person, you know, and not your bitch.

3. If you don't tell me something, I don't know about it. I am not a mind-reader.

Keep it up people, and I will shove my pointy-toed boot up your collective asses, and you can watch me shake my rump as I do the "Fire me, fire me, fire me!" dance.

Jackasses.

Best Valentine's Day Gift Ever

I got home from work last night expecting to have to shovel our front walk and change the kitty litter.

Earlier in the day I'd asked Fred to do something nice for me. My something nice for him was bringing home a Mocha from Tim Horton's (we usually just drink their coffee, not the fancy stuff).

His something nice for me was shoveling and changing the litter.

Yay!

What's that knitting rule again?

I am knitting Fred a scarf.

I've been knitting for over a year now, and have managed to learn how to knit lace, and knit socks (which at one time seemed to me to be the pinnacle of difficulty; the idea of fair-isle was overwhelming), but this $%&*# scarf is driving me batty.

First, I was using icky acrylic camouflage yarn, because he digs the camo. He picked a five-cable braid that just wasn't showing up properly in the patterned yarn.

So we switched to a dark purple merino (yay!) and started over. It was curling in on itself, and he says he likes a scarf that lays flat, so I ripped it out and changed the design.

This time I got about 8 inches of the sucker done and ... dropped a stitch. I thought that I had picked it up properly, but after a couple more rows it was obvious that I had not, because the proper crosses just weren't there. I put in a life-line and frogged it back and picked up the correct number of stitches....and realized that I hated the way it looked. Seed stitch on either side, reverse stockinette, and the cable in the middle. Muh. It would have looked great if it were going to be part of an afghan or something else, but on it's own, it was just kind of meh.

Ribbit, ribbit, ribbit. Although I did get to play with my ball winder, so that was fun (Zoe liked it too).

As I was casting on this scarf for the fourth time he says "You know what I'd like? A sweater. A cashmere sweater. Black. With red celtic cable panels up the arms, and a red celtic design on the front."

*sigh*

Upside Down

I have just been told that one of our directors has resigned. She's not my direct superior, but I have done a number of projects for her, and she has always championed me when I've needed some back up. She's going back to consulting, which I know she loves so I'm very happy for her, but I'm not so happy for me.

She was going to back me in a bid to move out of my current position into one that's a little more fulfilling for me. Now I'm afraid I'm going to be stuck (haven't heard anything from the interview last Wednesday yet). *sigh* Just when I was feeling that if I was going to have to stay at this company, at least I would have something I liked a little better going on...

I have been telling myself since last February when I started on a search for a new job that everything that fell through did so for a reason: that I still had something to learn here, that there is a different job out there that will come to me when the time is right. It's getting harder and harder to believe myself as the few things/people I enjoy about this job are slowly stripped away.

Interesting..

Borrowed from Allison (who I believe got it from Lolly):

You are a Black Coffee

At your best, you are: low maintenance, friendly, and adaptable At your worst, you are: cheap and angsty You drink coffee when: you can get your hands on it Your caffeine addiction level: high

What Kind of Coffee Are You?

Why is this interesting? My caffeine intake consists of a cup of coffee when I get to work and a cup of tea at night. I do require caffeine daily, but not a lot of it.

The 'best' and 'worst' observations are pretty spot on.

Glitch in the system: parts failure.

On Monday I went for a half-hour walk at lunch time. By the time I got back I had a hot, flaring pain in my right lower-back/hip area. This isn't unusal (although the pain doesn't normally come from walking, but from long periods of standing or sitting), and is fixed by going to see Dr. Matt my wonderful chiropractor.

I was off work yesterday for a job interview (cross-your fingers for me folks, I really want this one) so I went to see Dr. Matt and he did his magic and told me to do a 10 min. on 10 min. off icing on it for the next couple of days, but that I should be ok to do excercise, as long as it wasn't too strenuous.

Last night I took the Yoga for Dummies DVD for a spin (Helen, it does sound like the same one you have). I am either too dumb or too smart for it because today I am in pain. Large font, capital letters, lots of exlamation points pain. I got out of bed this morning and realized that it hurt to sit. It hurts to stand. Any kind of movement? Owie ow ow. The only thing that doesn't hurt is lying on the floor, which is pretty frowned on at the office. So I am full of muscle relaxants and have made it to work in body, if not in brain power. Dr. Matt has office hours on Saturday, so I think I'm getting up early.