Or as it's more commonly said: Happy Halloween!
What is Samhain? Well, this article explains it far better than I can in a few short minutes before I run home. Hopefully I will be there in time to see at least a little bit of cute dressed up wee ones.
I hope you all enjoy your caaaaaandy!
Monday, October 31, 2005
Friday, October 21, 2005
Hard work
I now have links to blogs I like, and I've put all my pictures into Photobucket and figured out how to put a picture in my profile
I've been on the computer for 4 hours doing this.
I am bushed, but feel like I've accomplished something.
Go team me!
I've been on the computer for 4 hours doing this.
I am bushed, but feel like I've accomplished something.
Go team me!
It's Electrifying!
A couple of weeks ago I finally conquered my fear that I will have to have knee surgery and went to a sports doctor.
Let's back up a bit. Ten years ago I was a music theatre student - triple threat: acting, singing and dancing. Prior to that I had been taking ballet since the age of 5 and also did some tap, jazz and modern, just to be well-rounded. In the 3rd year of my degree my body stopped doing what my brain told it to. Never mind Fosse, simple jetes were agony. I went to my doctor and she told me that if I wanted it to stop hurting, I should stop dancing, and that in about 10 years, I might need surgery.
Back to the present: I'm heavier than I should be by about 50 lbs. and I am spending 3-plus hours a day in stop-and-go traffic, then wearing heels at the office. I've been in some pretty serious pain, and other people can hear my right knee click when I climb stairs. So I bit the bullet and got a referral, mentally calculating whether we could manage to pay the bills if I had to go on short term disability for a while.
Happily, the hot young doctor (man, I wish I had shaved my legs that morning...) said that we'd give physiotherapy a shot for 4-6 weeks first. Yay for alternatives!
Now, once or twice a week I go to see Evangelia (Yes, that is her real name! I love it!) and she does funky things to my legs. The funkiest thing thus far has been to hook each of my thighs up to electrodes that shoot 10 milliamperes each into the muscles on the insides of my legs. I do this for 10 minutes, while also doing knee bends. And it works! It doesn't hurt to drive anymore, or to climb stairs. I still can't crouch, but it's getting there.
So the next time someone offers to electrocute you, don't dismiss them out of hand.
;-)
Let's back up a bit. Ten years ago I was a music theatre student - triple threat: acting, singing and dancing. Prior to that I had been taking ballet since the age of 5 and also did some tap, jazz and modern, just to be well-rounded. In the 3rd year of my degree my body stopped doing what my brain told it to. Never mind Fosse, simple jetes were agony. I went to my doctor and she told me that if I wanted it to stop hurting, I should stop dancing, and that in about 10 years, I might need surgery.
Back to the present: I'm heavier than I should be by about 50 lbs. and I am spending 3-plus hours a day in stop-and-go traffic, then wearing heels at the office. I've been in some pretty serious pain, and other people can hear my right knee click when I climb stairs. So I bit the bullet and got a referral, mentally calculating whether we could manage to pay the bills if I had to go on short term disability for a while.
Happily, the hot young doctor (man, I wish I had shaved my legs that morning...) said that we'd give physiotherapy a shot for 4-6 weeks first. Yay for alternatives!
Now, once or twice a week I go to see Evangelia (Yes, that is her real name! I love it!) and she does funky things to my legs. The funkiest thing thus far has been to hook each of my thighs up to electrodes that shoot 10 milliamperes each into the muscles on the insides of my legs. I do this for 10 minutes, while also doing knee bends. And it works! It doesn't hurt to drive anymore, or to climb stairs. I still can't crouch, but it's getting there.
So the next time someone offers to electrocute you, don't dismiss them out of hand.
;-)
Monday, October 17, 2005
Damn, I'm sexy!
Despite recent (and ongoing) financial difficulties (Stoopid having to pay for things! It should all be a barter system I tell you!) F. and I decided that I could get new office footwear for the fall/winter months. My one pair of black office shoes were bought for $3 (CDN) at Value Village two years ago. They have recently lost a heel, and it was decided that rather than getting them repaired, I could get something new.
I walked into Payless this morning expecting to come out with a pair of sensible, low-heeled black shoes that I will be able to fit orthotics into. I walked out with a pair of kick-ass boots. They do fit the requirements: black, low-heeled, will be able to fit orthotics into them. They cost more than I had budgeted though. And I'm not sure that the $15 I've saved by not smoking for 2 days and however many hours covers the difference. But they make me look, and more importantly feel all sexy. Which is something I have been sorely lacking the last few months. Plus, as L. said, I never buy myself anything (she says that the occasional Oprah or Martha Stewart wedding magazine doesn't count).
In conclusion: I may be poor, but I'm sexy.
I walked into Payless this morning expecting to come out with a pair of sensible, low-heeled black shoes that I will be able to fit orthotics into. I walked out with a pair of kick-ass boots. They do fit the requirements: black, low-heeled, will be able to fit orthotics into them. They cost more than I had budgeted though. And I'm not sure that the $15 I've saved by not smoking for 2 days and however many hours covers the difference. But they make me look, and more importantly feel all sexy. Which is something I have been sorely lacking the last few months. Plus, as L. said, I never buy myself anything (she says that the occasional Oprah or Martha Stewart wedding magazine doesn't count).
In conclusion: I may be poor, but I'm sexy.
Saturday, October 15, 2005
Ch-ch-ch-changes
Today I learned how to put a picture into a post! I also added the Quitmeter back to the bottom of the page, since I had my last smoke at about 1:00 this morning. Giving it another go on the premise that I'll never actually make it, if I don't keep trying. Also, towards that end, I've been on the South Beach plan for 3 weeks now, and have lost 11 lbs. I added a tracker for that too, from a website bettie used for a different kind of count down. *grin* I still need to figure out how to put links in the sidebar, and put my photo in my profile, but I'll leave those things for another time.
So those are the changes to my blog. And a couple of changes to my life. Which is a good thing for me to realize, because lately I've been feeling like I'm just spinning my wheels. People I love and admire are going places & doing things. One couple and two other friends have just purchased homes; five people are having babies; one person has gone back to school (please note that I am ectsatic for every single one of them, and there's no bad feeling about any of it, just some longing). I turned 32 last week, and felt the lack of my own home, marriage, children and the career I want full force. For a couple of days I was a royal pain in the ass to be around. Then T. pointed out all the things I do have going for me, and the stuff I have accomplished, and the stuff I'm working towards.
So, a week after Thanksgiving, I'm counting my blessings and my small achievements, and trying to remember that each step is one of many that will get me where I'm meant to be.
So those are the changes to my blog. And a couple of changes to my life. Which is a good thing for me to realize, because lately I've been feeling like I'm just spinning my wheels. People I love and admire are going places & doing things. One couple and two other friends have just purchased homes; five people are having babies; one person has gone back to school (please note that I am ectsatic for every single one of them, and there's no bad feeling about any of it, just some longing). I turned 32 last week, and felt the lack of my own home, marriage, children and the career I want full force. For a couple of days I was a royal pain in the ass to be around. Then T. pointed out all the things I do have going for me, and the stuff I have accomplished, and the stuff I'm working towards.
So, a week after Thanksgiving, I'm counting my blessings and my small achievements, and trying to remember that each step is one of many that will get me where I'm meant to be.
Testy kitty!
This is Callie, one of my lovely kitties. Yes, she does look pissed off. She always looks like that, even when getting loving and scritches. She is a fan of The Bears, Spike the cat, and the Rafs, but is a little too shy to say so herself.
Thursday, September 22, 2005
What kind of cute animal are you?
You Are A: Duckling!
The cutest of the cute, these baby ducks are often spotted in the spring following closely behind their mother. As a duckling you will grow up quickly, becoming one of the adult ducks seen commonly in ponds and streams. Playful and timid, charming and vulnerable, ducklings are nature's very definition of innocence.You were almost a: Puppy or a Lamb
You are least like a: Mouse or a MonkeyWhat Cute Animal Are You?
Hee!
Sunday, September 18, 2005
The D Word
I arrived home from my wonderful 5 days away to find a Form 25A: Divorce Order waiting for me. This, for me, is a joyous thing. I left my husband in January of 2004 after only 15 months of marriage. It wasn't a bad marriage, but it wasn't a good one either. Although I have moved on with my life since then - new partner, new home, new job - I now feel like I can really get on with the rest of my life.
I have a number of friends who have also ended their marriages in the past couple of years. For each of us it has been a completely different experience. Some are very, very sad, even though they were the ones doing the leaving. Some, like me, are finding freedom in a new beginning. I wonder though, what is it about us (the women I know, who like me, have been married very short amounts of time) that is different from others who have had very difficult experiences and still managed to hold on to their marriages. Is it stubborn-ness? Is it that what they have, although not perfect, is more worth fighting for?
In each of my relationships, including my marriage, I was unfaithful to my partner. There are lots of reasons why, and I'm still trying to figure some of them out. But I've been with Fred now for longer than I stayed with anyone (other than my ex-husband) and in that time I haven't been drawn to any other person. He knows about my relationship and sexual history, and has from the beginning of our relationship, just as I'm familiar with his. We've had discussions about our fears for the future. Will he be able to actually make it to the altar with me (he's been engaged three times, but never made it to marriage)? Will I be able to stick it out through rough times with him, or will I run away? Or turn to someone else?
I'd like to think that we have "what it takes". That we're both older and wiser and stronger than we were in past relationships.
Mostly, I like to think that I've finally found "the one".
I have a number of friends who have also ended their marriages in the past couple of years. For each of us it has been a completely different experience. Some are very, very sad, even though they were the ones doing the leaving. Some, like me, are finding freedom in a new beginning. I wonder though, what is it about us (the women I know, who like me, have been married very short amounts of time) that is different from others who have had very difficult experiences and still managed to hold on to their marriages. Is it stubborn-ness? Is it that what they have, although not perfect, is more worth fighting for?
In each of my relationships, including my marriage, I was unfaithful to my partner. There are lots of reasons why, and I'm still trying to figure some of them out. But I've been with Fred now for longer than I stayed with anyone (other than my ex-husband) and in that time I haven't been drawn to any other person. He knows about my relationship and sexual history, and has from the beginning of our relationship, just as I'm familiar with his. We've had discussions about our fears for the future. Will he be able to actually make it to the altar with me (he's been engaged three times, but never made it to marriage)? Will I be able to stick it out through rough times with him, or will I run away? Or turn to someone else?
I'd like to think that we have "what it takes". That we're both older and wiser and stronger than we were in past relationships.
Mostly, I like to think that I've finally found "the one".
Monday, August 22, 2005
What happened...
So Jenn (BC Jenn, as opposed to ON Jenn) wanted to know what happened.
First let me point out that there is no longer a Quitmeter (TM) at the bottom of this page. *ahem*
Simply put, I fell off the wagon. I spent a weekend camping with friends. Most of whom are smokers. And there was drinking. And other...stuff. And I caved.
So now I am smoking again, albeit less than I was. I've stopped smoking in the car, and only go out for 1 a day at work instead of the previous 3. All in all, I'd say I went from my previous pack a day down to 7 cigarettes a day. So there is a small victory there.
I do want to quit. I just don't want it badly enough right now. Although my lungs sure aren't happy with me. My 32nd birthday is at the beginning of October, and that is my target. To be quit by then.
Fred (who is still not smoking and I am very proud of him!) and I are going away for a week in September, and I'm thinking that if not before then, that's the time to give it another shot.
I'll keep you posted, Jenn!
First let me point out that there is no longer a Quitmeter (TM) at the bottom of this page. *ahem*
Simply put, I fell off the wagon. I spent a weekend camping with friends. Most of whom are smokers. And there was drinking. And other...stuff. And I caved.
So now I am smoking again, albeit less than I was. I've stopped smoking in the car, and only go out for 1 a day at work instead of the previous 3. All in all, I'd say I went from my previous pack a day down to 7 cigarettes a day. So there is a small victory there.
I do want to quit. I just don't want it badly enough right now. Although my lungs sure aren't happy with me. My 32nd birthday is at the beginning of October, and that is my target. To be quit by then.
Fred (who is still not smoking and I am very proud of him!) and I are going away for a week in September, and I'm thinking that if not before then, that's the time to give it another shot.
I'll keep you posted, Jenn!
Wednesday, July 27, 2005
Day 5
Wow, it's been rocky. According to my little counter thingy, it's been 5 days and 9 hours since my last cigarette. Longest 5 days of my life. I've been using the Step One patches and wondering if they're a little strong. I've been having some very vivid dreams, which may be a side effect. Or, it may just be my brain dealing with some recent difficulties in my life. On the other hand of things, I've been wondering if the patch is doing anything at all, as I'm still having cravings like crazy.
Today I get to find out.
A. stayed home today so I was trying to decide this morning whether I should take the bus or drive in to work alone. Working on 6 hours sleep and having a headache was slowing down my thought processes. I decided to drive, even thought it was raining, since driving means less money spent today and less time spent standing around waiting for busses. I was about 40 km up the 401 from home when I realized I didn't put a patch on this morning. Nor do I have one on me. So we shall see what happens. I may have to run out at lunch for a box of Step 2's. Or I may discover that it really is my willpower that has carried me through the last 5 days. *fingers crossed*
Today I get to find out.
A. stayed home today so I was trying to decide this morning whether I should take the bus or drive in to work alone. Working on 6 hours sleep and having a headache was slowing down my thought processes. I decided to drive, even thought it was raining, since driving means less money spent today and less time spent standing around waiting for busses. I was about 40 km up the 401 from home when I realized I didn't put a patch on this morning. Nor do I have one on me. So we shall see what happens. I may have to run out at lunch for a box of Step 2's. Or I may discover that it really is my willpower that has carried me through the last 5 days. *fingers crossed*
Friday, July 22, 2005
Day 1
So. Here I am, a recovering smoker. There's a patch on my back and a Quitmeter counter at the bottom of my blog. Although today was supposed to be my quit date, I finished a pack of smokes at 11:15 last night and haven't had one since, so that's when I'm counting from.
So far so good. It would help if there was milk for my tea. Meh.
So far so good. It would help if there was milk for my tea. Meh.
Wednesday, July 20, 2005
Quitter
Tonight I stopped on my way home and bought a box of Step 1 Transdermal Nicotine Patches.
I'm scared shitless.
I want to quit smoking. I've been doing it for the better part of 15 years. I stopped once, for a couple of years, but started again when my mom had a bad horse back riding accident and I had a hard time dealing with the fact that she's mortal.
Now is the right time for me to do this. I'm not enjoying anything about smoking anymore and 4 of my friends have quit successfully in the past few months, not to mention all of the folks over at the WD who have managed to kick the habit. My boyfriend, who has been smoking for over 20 years quit on Monday. I figure if he can do it, so can I.
My fear of quitting comes in two flavours:
1. I'm afraid I won't be able to do it.
2. I'm afraid I will be able to do it.
Number one feeds on my general fear of failure. There have been times in my life when I just wouldn't try something because I might do it wrong. Thankfully, I'm mostly past that now, but in this instance, the fear has come back with a vengeance.
Number two is all about my image of who I am. When you do something several times a day for years it becomes a part of your self image. Who am I? I'm a non-practicing bi-sexual pagan smoker. And a couple of other things, but in the us-against-them war, I've been firmly on the side of the carcinogenically inclined for some time now. So changing that label is going to be difficult.
The reasons I have for quitting are many, and all good ones. I'm tired of the way I smell. I don't like the taste anymore, even though I smoke the minty version. My throat hurts, I get wheezy in the mornings, I cough before I go to sleep at night. My singing voice is not so good any more. I can't afford it. I want babies.
So wish me luck. Wish me willpower. Wish me success.
I'm scared shitless.
I want to quit smoking. I've been doing it for the better part of 15 years. I stopped once, for a couple of years, but started again when my mom had a bad horse back riding accident and I had a hard time dealing with the fact that she's mortal.
Now is the right time for me to do this. I'm not enjoying anything about smoking anymore and 4 of my friends have quit successfully in the past few months, not to mention all of the folks over at the WD who have managed to kick the habit. My boyfriend, who has been smoking for over 20 years quit on Monday. I figure if he can do it, so can I.
My fear of quitting comes in two flavours:
1. I'm afraid I won't be able to do it.
2. I'm afraid I will be able to do it.
Number one feeds on my general fear of failure. There have been times in my life when I just wouldn't try something because I might do it wrong. Thankfully, I'm mostly past that now, but in this instance, the fear has come back with a vengeance.
Number two is all about my image of who I am. When you do something several times a day for years it becomes a part of your self image. Who am I? I'm a non-practicing bi-sexual pagan smoker. And a couple of other things, but in the us-against-them war, I've been firmly on the side of the carcinogenically inclined for some time now. So changing that label is going to be difficult.
The reasons I have for quitting are many, and all good ones. I'm tired of the way I smell. I don't like the taste anymore, even though I smoke the minty version. My throat hurts, I get wheezy in the mornings, I cough before I go to sleep at night. My singing voice is not so good any more. I can't afford it. I want babies.
So wish me luck. Wish me willpower. Wish me success.
Thursday, July 07, 2005
Update!
Yeah.
So, I've got a new job, that I pretty much like.
My best friend moved in with me and the boyfriend at the beginning of April. The new job is with her. So we spend a lot of time together. This is sometimes a good thing, and sometimes not a good thing. We're managing.
I've finally got the $300 I need to finalize my divorce. Yay!
Yeah.
Note to self: if you're going to have a blog, get more interesting.
So, I've got a new job, that I pretty much like.
My best friend moved in with me and the boyfriend at the beginning of April. The new job is with her. So we spend a lot of time together. This is sometimes a good thing, and sometimes not a good thing. We're managing.
I've finally got the $300 I need to finalize my divorce. Yay!
Yeah.
Note to self: if you're going to have a blog, get more interesting.
Tuesday, September 21, 2004
Not gonna be homeless...
So the boy and I have a place to live come December. Actually, we take posession November 1, and we'll move gradually on the weekends that month.
I am so excited. I will have stairs. The cats have never seen stairs, nor have they ever lived with actual carpet on the floors. They aren't going to know what to do with themselves. Hee.
It's a 3-bedroom townhouse in Guelph. With a nice big basement. And a dishwasher! I've already got colour scheme ideas for most of the rooms. Dijon mustard yellow with green trim for the kitchen. Lilac with dark purple trim for the master bedroom. Celestial theme for the bathroom.
The very best part of all of this is that in about six months, my best friend is going to come live with us. So I'll be living with my two most favourite people in the whole world.
Yay!
I am so excited. I will have stairs. The cats have never seen stairs, nor have they ever lived with actual carpet on the floors. They aren't going to know what to do with themselves. Hee.
It's a 3-bedroom townhouse in Guelph. With a nice big basement. And a dishwasher! I've already got colour scheme ideas for most of the rooms. Dijon mustard yellow with green trim for the kitchen. Lilac with dark purple trim for the master bedroom. Celestial theme for the bathroom.
The very best part of all of this is that in about six months, my best friend is going to come live with us. So I'll be living with my two most favourite people in the whole world.
Yay!
Friday, August 13, 2004
The Rules
Created over a number of months, collaboratively with wonderful friends.
1. Throwing is not sharing.
2. Tickling is not cuddling.
3. Telling is not asking.
4. Soggy is not sexy.
1. Throwing is not sharing.
2. Tickling is not cuddling.
3. Telling is not asking.
4. Soggy is not sexy.
Wednesday, June 23, 2004
Loving me, loving you...
In a relationship, the one who loves the least holds the power. Sometimes it's easy to know which one you are, and often the balance shifts over time.
Right now I think I'm the one loving more. I'm constrained by the boy's familial situation, and so is he, I understand that. I just feel that I'm putting out more than I'm getting back. Living an hour and a half away from each other is difficult for both of us, but I feel like it's harder on me these days. I'm living alone, and while I'm very busy, I'm going home every night to an empty apartment. He's living with his parents, not an ideal situation, but at least he's not knocking around an empty living space. Oh, I have the cats, but really, they're not people, as much as they think they are.
I'm willing to take a Greyhound three hours round trip to see him for 8. He's not willing to do the same for an entire 72 hour weekend. It's not like it would cost him money either; I've already bought and given him the bus tickets. Frustrating. Granted, in that 72 hours, I'd be at rehearsal for 12 hours. And I know that he doesn't mean that *I'm* not worth it when he says that it wouldn't be worth his time, but it hurts all the same.
So right now, he has the power. I am at his mercy. It sucks. Yeah.
Right now I think I'm the one loving more. I'm constrained by the boy's familial situation, and so is he, I understand that. I just feel that I'm putting out more than I'm getting back. Living an hour and a half away from each other is difficult for both of us, but I feel like it's harder on me these days. I'm living alone, and while I'm very busy, I'm going home every night to an empty apartment. He's living with his parents, not an ideal situation, but at least he's not knocking around an empty living space. Oh, I have the cats, but really, they're not people, as much as they think they are.
I'm willing to take a Greyhound three hours round trip to see him for 8. He's not willing to do the same for an entire 72 hour weekend. It's not like it would cost him money either; I've already bought and given him the bus tickets. Frustrating. Granted, in that 72 hours, I'd be at rehearsal for 12 hours. And I know that he doesn't mean that *I'm* not worth it when he says that it wouldn't be worth his time, but it hurts all the same.
So right now, he has the power. I am at his mercy. It sucks. Yeah.
Wednesday, June 16, 2004
Things I'd like to blog/WD post about if I had the time...
-Serendipity
-Cantertrot Court
-That e-mail from Annika
C'mon, home computer! Blearg.
-Cantertrot Court
-That e-mail from Annika
C'mon, home computer! Blearg.
Thursday, May 27, 2004
Out of the mists...
You're Igraine. You've got a very strong spirit, and I'm sure that whatever you put
your mind to, you will achieve. You don't let anyone push you around--you're you're
own person and you like it that way! You are a passionate person in general, but you
probably have an even more passionate view on love... try not to wrap yourself around
the love too much, though... you might risk forgetting about everything else around you!
Which Mists of Avalon Character are YOU?
by
"The Mists of Avalon" is one of my favourite books. I've been reading it once a year for over 10 years now. Morgaine is my favourite character, but I'm very pleased that I identify with Igraine.
Friday, May 21, 2004
Happy Victoria Day!
OK, so it doesn't actually get celebrated until Monday, but I won't be at a computer then. I will be recovering from a weekend of partying.
In Ontario, the Victoria Day weekend is better known as the May 2-4 weekend (said "may two four"). It's no longer so much about our colonial roots, our love for the monarchy, or national pride. A good portion of Canada's population doesn't have colonial roots, and the monarchy is an outdated tabloid story. As for national pride, well that's what Canada Day is for (unless you live in Quebec). May 2-4 is now the first long weekend of the summer. It's the time to open cottages, go camping, have parties and drink a 2-4 of beer (that's a case of 24 beers for any non-Canadian readers).
So why do we still hold on to the outmoded concept of celebrating the Queen's birthday? Probably just because it gives us another day of work.
For myself, while I'm raising a few this weekend, at least one will be for Queen Victoria, and one for Queen Elizabeth II: strong women who helped forge a strong county. Thanks ladies.
In Ontario, the Victoria Day weekend is better known as the May 2-4 weekend (said "may two four"). It's no longer so much about our colonial roots, our love for the monarchy, or national pride. A good portion of Canada's population doesn't have colonial roots, and the monarchy is an outdated tabloid story. As for national pride, well that's what Canada Day is for (unless you live in Quebec). May 2-4 is now the first long weekend of the summer. It's the time to open cottages, go camping, have parties and drink a 2-4 of beer (that's a case of 24 beers for any non-Canadian readers).
So why do we still hold on to the outmoded concept of celebrating the Queen's birthday? Probably just because it gives us another day of work.
For myself, while I'm raising a few this weekend, at least one will be for Queen Victoria, and one for Queen Elizabeth II: strong women who helped forge a strong county. Thanks ladies.
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